me kwaa ba *ghana day five*

now that we've been back home in the united states and away from solomon for one long week, i'm ready to write about our last day in ghana.  i've tried a few different times to write it out, and it was a bit too emotional.  i'm not a particularly emotional person so thanks for letting me have my  moment...*grin*

wednesday, march 13, was our last day in ghana.  we had a really quiet morning sleeping in, packing up, enjoying a leisurely breakfast at the hotel (baked beans or spaghetti bolognese for breakfast, anyone?!).  our driver, samuel, came to pick us up about 11:45 am so we checked out of the hotel, paid the bill (thank you, God, for providing!), and packed all our goodies in the car.  after such a busy time the day before, we decided to spend the afternoon at the bethany office on the far side of accra.  the whole staff was already there, working hard, when we arrived.  we also had the great pleasure of meeting four very special people: a little boy who was the first child adopted through bethany's adoption program (he was staying home from school that day so he could go with the country director to pick up his visa packet at the american embassy!!  HOORAY!) and three interns from the US.  we had already met one of the interns, riley, the day before...she spent the day with us learning about court, etc.  the other two girls, kendra and becky, were lovely as well.  it was such a treat for me (ashley) in particular because i did my internship in ghana back in 2001....talking with them was like looking back at my younger self.  we were really excited to hear about what these girls are doing and learning and where they want to go in life after the graduate from college in may.

Music at the Bethany office

ben pulled out his drum and had a jam session with solomon, the program manager...it was a very relaxed and enjoyable time to just hang out with people that shared the same vision and heart as us!

we wanted to take a moment to highlight some of the super exciting things that bethany is doing in ghana.  the department of social welfare asked bethany to come set up a program in ghana after they watched the success of their foster and adoption programs in ethiopia.  so while bethany has yet to complete a successful intercountry adoption in ghana (the first little boy should be joining his forever family in the US within the next month or so!!!), they have already trained over 80 foster families.  there are many stories of struggling mothers who can received aid from bethany so they can get back on their feet and provide for their children. we have said this many times, but adoption is not the solution to the orphan problem.  it is the last resort!  having a strong foster program in country is a powerful way to help birthfamilies stay together.  we were both thrilled to see the work bethany is doing to improve life for children in ghana and are so very proud to have a small part in its success.

by the late afternoon, our tummies were rumbling and we were antsy to visit with solomon.  samuel drove us back to the osu area for lunch (which took forever!  restaurants are not fast in ghana.  ever.  i think that day felt particularly long because we were eager to spend as much time with solomon as we could before we left.).  by the time we arrived at osu children's home, it was about 5:00pm.  apparently, this is bath time for the babies in the nursery at osu.  so we waited.  a long time.  as we mentioned, there are about 50 children under the age of 3 in the nursery at osu...and maybe 10-15 house mothers to care for them at a time.  bath time, dinner time, bed time....it takes a long time.  we waited outside the administrative building for about an hour and a half.  it was difficult to be patient....knowing that solomon was officially, legally our son and yet being hindered in spending time with him...*whew*  reminded us how helpless we still were in our roles as mommy and daddy.  makes us ache to bring him home and actually have an impact on his precious little life.

when aunt nancy brought solomon out to see us, it was about 6:30pm and he was obviously ready for bed - all clean and cuddly.  we were only able to spend about 15 minutes with him...but they were precious.  ben rocked him to sleep.  we kissed his fingers and cheeks and whispered to him that we would not leave him an orphan...we would return.  we would come back for him.  in twi, you say "me kwaa ba"..."i will return."   to have someone so small trustingly fall asleep in your arms and then place him in the arms of a stranger to care for is difficult to describe.  we barely know solomon and yet we love him with all the might that we love our other two sons that we have known since before they were born.  words fall short in describing the ache you feel when you watch your tiny child carried away from you - not knowing just what kind of life they will have for a few months so far away from you.

but we have much to be thankful for.  we know that the house mothers love our little man.  you can tell that they know him as an individual.  they care about his well being.  these are the small comforts we have to rest in.  ultimately, our greatest comfort comes from looking back at how God has guided our lives together and trusting His perfect plan for solomon's life.

ida and samuel drove us directly to the airport from the orphanage.  i managed to keep my emotional composure...supernatural peace!!!!  our flight home was seamless, as easy as a 30 hour trek could be.

our family is divided across the planet. we missed our older boys more than we realized!  and yet, we both left part of ourselves back in ghana - with the little boy God brought into our life, with the people and culture we have come to love so much, with the bethany workers that have become dear dear friends to us.  pray with us that this last period of waiting will pass quickly and glorify God in the fullest!

what's next?
the quick answer to our current situation is this: we have ghana's verbal permission to leave the country with solomon.  we need the official written documents (adoption order, letter from the ministry of foreign affairs, and passport) to back that up.  at the same time, we need the US' permission to enter the country with solomon.  even though ghana has already conducted its own social enquiry into solomon's abandonment and orphan status, the US does its own investigation before issuing a visa.  all told, it will be about 3 months before we can return to ghana and bring our boy home...that's if everything goes as fast as possible!!  eeek!  we can pray for any time frame we want, so we asking God to allow us to have everything in place to return in june.  would you pray to that end with us???

great is the Lord and greatly to be praised;
of His greatness there is no end!
-psalm 145:3

a new son: COURT! *ghana day four*

mountain moved.
a big one.
a miracle came to fruition today and we were given the gift of our third son, solomon matthew ephraim cain.

in case you were wondering, solomon's given name was ephraim (EH-frem is how they say it in ghana) kwadjo (means monday born) otoo. since our oldest son is named ethan, we knew we couldn't keep ephraim as his first name...see? we told you the name change would make sense. and the name change was granted today by the ghanaian judge along with FULL ADOPTION rights!!! wooooohooooo!

the day started early. we woke up at 5:00 and were ready to be picked up at 6:00. really, we were out in the lobby waiting for the driver at 6:10 because, ya know, we have this african time thing down. ashley is fully convinced that she *is* ghanaian. anyway....:)
we eventually made our way to the children's home to pick up solomon for court. ida had spoken briefly with the manageress the night before, but we were not able to confirm whether there would be a house mother to accompany us to court or not. they are understaffed and undergoing training right now! so yesterday, we stopped by koala super market for some of the formula they give solomon and diapers....we did not want to be unprepared to care for our little man! especially since we did not know if we would wait one hour or four hours for our actual court hearing. fortunately, jane had just come off the night shift in the nursery and was willing to accompany us.

we arrived at the high court building in accra around 8:30 and waited for our lawyer (naa), the bethany christian services program manager (solomon obeng), and the representative for the department of social welfare (turned out that the head of social welfare for this region actually came!) to arrive. by 9:00, we were all seated in the small and very hot room of high court 12. the judge came in and heard 3 other cases before us. solomon (the program manager) told us that we would likely be heard by 10:00am or not until 2:00pm. since ben was in a suit and tie and poor little solomon would be ready for a nap, we prayed for the 10 time table. our little guy did well...we brought toys and let him crawl around a bit. but then, he was tired. this was when we were glad the house mother jane was with us.....apparently, solomon likes to rock himself to sleep, but if you hold him, he will cry himself to sleep. good to know!

jane took him outside the courtroom, but we could hear his sad, little cry. after just a few minutes, ashley went outside to help. she was able to quiet him down while jane prepared a bottle. within a few minutes of eating, the poor little guy gave up and slept all the way through the most important day of his life thus far. :)

God was kind and the judge invited us back to her private chambers just an hour after we arrived (about 10:00am). the room was small, but we managed to fit the judge, her clerk, our lawyer, the head of the department of social welfare, jane holding a sleeping solomon, ben, ashley, ida, and big solomon. whew! everything had been prepared very well by our team beforehand so the proceedings went quickly and smoothly. our lawyer essentially said that we, the applicants, had provided all the requested documentation and were eligible to adopt the child. then the head of social welfare said that solomon did, in fact, qualify as an orphan and had proper relinquishments by his birthmother, that solomon had special needs because of a hole in his heart, and that he felt we were well-suited, willing, and the best future for solomon's life.
wow.
after the judge heard both representatives, she spent a few moments writing her verdict before she shared it. as soon as she finished writing and we saw the big smile on her face, we knew that God had answered our prayers and given solomon to our family. the judge said it was her great pleasure to grant the intercountry adoption to us with full parental rights and the permission to leave the district with the child. WOOHOO! we shook her hand and held back tears as we left, holding the little boy who was now a cain forever.

********
the pictures below are of the judicial system high court building, ashley holding a frightened solomon in the car (he's only driven in a car a handful of times and his heart was beating so fast!), ben walking to court with solomon and jane, waiting inside the court, ida (our social worker) holding solomon after the hearing, and us with solomon, jane, and ida after the hearing!

introducing solomon matthew cain

*drum roll*
we are thrilled to introduce you to our third son, solomon matthew cain.

more details on another post, but for now? just the flood of pictures we promised (in order from when we first met to high court this morning)!

PRAISE GOD for the amazing gift of this little boy!!!!

First meeting and first little kiss...

bethany office, beach, & beats *ghana day three*

just a quick post tonight. the long, full, hot days make for tired evenings! plus, the air conditioner in our room decided to stop working and start griiiinding at about 2:30am this morning. the hotel staff took care of us, though, and moved us to a new room....but we lost precious hours of sleep.

today, we started early again and drove to the bethany christian services office on the other side of accra about an hour away. we were able to see a lot of the heart of the city and snapped a few more pictures as we drove. the bethany office is very nice and the well-suited facility makes the staff's job just a bit easier. we were able to meet all the lovely people that have worked so diligently to help bring solomon into our family: joe, ida, ebe, victoria, precious, and solomon (good name, right?). it was a joy to talk with joe, the country director, and hear his heart for the children of ghana. bethany not only works to place orphans with american families, but has also trained over 80 ghanaian families to be foster parents. there is so much work to be done and these lovely people are seeking to serve "the least of these."

a large portion of our day was spent driving...or rather sitting in the car in traffic. we were spoiled with the easy traffic conditions over the weekend! ida needed to stop by the registrar's office to pick up birth certificates for some of the children awaiting adoption placements (yay!). before lunch, we stopped to put our toes in the gulf of guinea. then with full bellies, we headed to the cultural arts centre for ben's drum lessons. there are so many vendors trying to sell their wares so the master drummer took us around the corner to a shady spot behind the centre and just by the gulf of guinea. ben enjoyed every second with his very patient and talented instructor...the lesson stretched ben's brain for about 2 hours.

by then, it was dark and the mosquitoes were imminent. we were not able to visit solomon today, but will pick him up bright and early at 7:00am for court!!! we have been told that the judge plans to keep her court appointments tomorrow so we are hopeful that our case will not be delayed. please pray that the judge will rule in favor of solomon becoming a cain!! if all goes well, we will flood the blog with solomon pictures tomorrow. HOORAY!

continuing to praise God for the people He has put in our path and the time we can spend with His children here in ghana. our hearts are full of love for this beautiful country and the good work God is doing!

by the way....check out the very last picture. we had a celebrity citing at lunch! the host of the ghanaian version of "who wants to be a millionaire" was sitting just behind us. ida helped us take a sneaky picture....heehee

church, old friends, and playing ball *ghana day two*

sunday! the Lord's day!

last night, ashley's old friend, lydia (a ghanaian national), came for a short visit. we decided to attend church with her and her family this morning! it was about an hour away from our hotel so we got up early and were the first ones to the hotel breakfast buffet (which was just as good as yesterday!). our wonderful driver, samuel, came to pick us up at 7:00 and after some crazy off-road driving, we made it to the church about 8:30. but no worries...this is africa and the 8:00 service had not really started in earnest. they wait for everyone to show up. *grin*

the church is called kingdom impact worship center and they were pumping the drums, bass, and vocals. it was SO loud. it took us a bit to adjust to the volume, but then we recognized some of the songs...and sang them with energetic african flare. the pastor spoke about hannah's faithfulness and how God blessed her with a child, samuel. it was a call-and-response type message with lots of audience participation. children attend a children's service in the adjoining building until they reach high school...we could hear their sweet voices singing. lydia and her husband, seth, took the opportunity to introduce us to their pastor (who is married to seth's sister) and many of their church friends. it was a hot, loud, and joyful time with brothers and sisters.

after service, lydia drove us to her home along with her two older girls. they are very energetic little girls and loved all the treats ashley had in her purse to share. lydia lives with her husband, their three children, and a network of extended family in a two story house on a large, gated lot. we stayed in her home for just a few minutes to look through pictures, etc. lydia then left the children at the house with her aunt and drove us back to our hotel where she stayed to enjoy lunch with us at the hotel's restaurant. ben tried ashley's favorite ghanaian dish: red red (beans with fried plantain and tilapia). all the food was excellent and we enjoyed a sweet time with lydia.

around 2:00, ida and samuel came to pick us up and go visit solomon at osu again. it was so good to see him again as yesterday almost felt surreal...was it a dream or did we actually meet him?! the home manageress was at home resting so we were not able to meet her again, but the head of social welfare for accra, benjamin otoo, was there! he is the one who approves all the placements in the accra region....it was very good to meet him. ida has a warm relationship with him as he calls her "daughter" and she calls him "daddy."

many of the house mothers we met yesterday greeted us warmly with hugs and immediately sent a child to go run and bring back solomon. just a few minutes later, auntie edith came around the corner with our little man. she even dressed him in one of the outfits we had sent for him with friends back in january. it was a 12 month shirt, but was not so so big on him as i would think. he was a little groggy (we think they woke him up from a nap) and took a good 30 minutes to perk up. we learned some new things about solomon today: he is one determined little boy, he can crawl, he does not like to crawl, he can stand, he does not like to stand, and he does not like applesauce...at all. we set him on the floor and placed some toys around him, just out of reach. we've heard his voice a few times and although he does not speak yet, he is an excellent communicator. he knew we were trying to get him to move and he was determined not to show us his abilities. his big clear brown eyes looked right at us and said, "i know what's going on here. i am not one to be fooled." just a few moments later, our attention was diverted by a house mother and solomon, quick as he could, crawled over to grab the toys he wanted. he thought we weren't looking! ha!

we both got great hugs and teeny tiny smirks. ashley squeezed out a giggle and ben played "roll the ball" for forever. it was a good good day learning more about this amazing little person.

one of the house mothers started saying today how much solomon looks like ben. she says solomon hair is the same color as ben's beard. you should have heard how loudly some of the teenage girls at the children's home laughed when they heard! we all agreed that God ordained for this boy to be in our family and that he does indeed "look like his daddy." *grin*

one thing we realized as we talked through today: this part of the adoption is very surface and very frustrating. for example, we see that solomon's nails need trimming or how he needs to be pushed physically and fed gobs more food. we see these things. but we can do so so little about them right now. he is not ours yet. we ache to bring him home and love on him like crazy, but for now? we only have a few hours worth of impact at a time. its a start...

our hearts are full with all the blessings we have experienced here. God is showing us His goodness and faithfulness minute to minute. we are feeling well, eating well, enjoying our time making new friends and positive relationships, and learning about this beautiful country.
all glory to God who works in and through us to proclaim His Precious Name!

(a few pictures from our time with lydia and her family at church and home, and red red (ashley's favorite)!)

Ashley and Lydia - old friends!

Ben and Ashley with Lydia and her family

Inside the church building

Outside the church building

Driving with Lydia and her two girls...love those bright smiles!

Visiting at Lydia's house

Ben with Lydia's son

Ashley with CJ & Zoe

Ashley's favorite Ghanaian meal: Red-Red (beans with fried plantain)

meeting solomon *day one in ghana*

today was better than we expected. waaaaay better.
not that we thought things would be bad...we just didn't expect the amazingly stupendous!

our social worker, ida, is a dear and allowed for us to sleep in this morning after the FULL days of travel. our hotel room is wonderful with efficient air conditioning, comfortable beds, and hot showers. the breakfast buffet included with our room was fantastic. ben was in heaven because they had bacon (real bacon, mind you) and coffee....do you really need anything more to start your day?!

we were ready to go at 10:00am....but didn't actually get to leave until closer to 12. part of it is "africa time," but a bigger part of it is that sweet ida is hosting a 16 year old foster girl at her house with her 5 month old daughter. the mother woke up sick and so ida needed to help her before coming to help us. that is Christ's love in action. that is serving the least of these and we feel very honored to know ida.

first stop? osu children's home!
there are 154 children currently being cared for at osu. that is a lot of children who need a family.
the manageress was not in and neither was the deputy manageress. fortunately, that didn't stop us from being able to meet solomon. we sat in the front of the office on plastic chairs with a nice breeze and waited for about 20 minutes. then who came around the corner? auntie nancy (one of the house mothers) holding the tiniest little 13 month old with that beautiful red hair. it took everything we had not to run right up to him and squeeze him....but the main thing we prayed about today was that we would have patience. solomon is young and we didn't want to scare him and have him cry the whole time we were with him. ida told us later that she had also been praying that today would be sweet for us. and. it. was.

after ida held him for a minute or so, solomon started to reach for me (ashley). eeek! he let me kiss his hand and touch his tiny face. after just a few minutes more, ida let me hold him....he is tiny. and he gave me the sweetest cuddles. it took him about 15-20 minutes to really loosen up and play, but we got some adorable smiles...and even a giggle or two. we brought him some toys and snacks. he ditched the snacks...threw them on the floor (but he has good fine motor skills!!!). ida told us that he doesn't like food. he still mostly just takes milk and some porridge (rice cereal). as she was telling us this, i checked his shirt: it was a size 0-3 months. this kid is tiny....but STRONG. he packs a punch. he loved one of the little balls we brought....and wacked both of us over and over. that is apparently a favorite game of his. :)

over the four hours we spent at osu, we had solomon to ourselves the whole time. ida was talking with some of the other house mothers and only three other children (adopted by two other bethany families who are now back in the US working on immigration!) joined us. we were expecting to have kids all over us and having to fight for time with solomon. nope. it was blissful time with just our boy.

it was difficult to put him back in the arm of the house mother to go, but was his dinnertime and he was exhausted... it was also very obvious that solomon loves auntie nancy and she loves him. we are thankful for these women who care for these children when no one else will.

as soon as we got back in the car, we realized that it was 4:30 and we were famished! ida took us to papaye (think ghanaian fast food). yummy fried rice with chicken. ben tried the shito (think spicy, fishy ketchup paste) and liked which is impressive because it is an "acquired taste." heehee. after a lovely visit with ida, we went to the cultural center. one of the things we asked to do while in ghana was for ben to take some drumming lessons. ida has connections. she hooked us up. we wound our way through the art stalls meeting so so many of ida's friends until we met the master drummer. rasta. the dude is cool. we scheduled to meet with him again on monday afternoon to learn some things and maybe purchase a drum for ben to take home. exciting! we also practiced our ghanaian handshakes which include a nifty little snap. authentic, man. :)

now we are resting up at the hotel and waiting for my old friend, lydia, to come for a short visit. she and i traveled together in northern ghana for a few months in 2001 with wycliffe bible translators. it was be a JOY to see her again! we plan to attend church with her in the morning too! the church truly is global.

thank you for praying and all your words of encouragement! God is faithfully going before us in every way. you cannot believe how beautiful solomon is....and we cannot believe how much you can love someone you have only just met.

a few pictures from the day, including our hotel, ashley crazy-excited face just before meeting solomon, ben playing with one of our adoptive friends' sweet little girl, and ghana independence square with the black star arch!

(PS we knoooow you want to see solomon pictures. we'll flood you with them after court on tuesday, Lord-willing!)

In the car at the orphanage...just before meeting Solomon for the first time!